Bittersweet Hours

Oh sweet Flicker, you are so loved.  So loved by your dad and I when you came to meet us on Wednesday night, sleeping so peacefully.  So loved by the God you met in Heaven who wrapped you in His arms whole and restored.  So loved by a great many people on this Earth who miss your presence here deeply.  So loved.

In the bittersweet time we spent together in the wee hours of the morning on Thursday, your dad and I told you over and over and over again just how much you are loved. We kissed you and squeezed you and wrapped you up tightly.  I know in my heart that you know that, but I am so grateful we got the chance to tell you in person.

I would be insincere to say that I am not angry and devastated that your dad and I don’t get more time with you here on this Earth.  The what could have been is just too much to process right now.  But sweet Flicker, you were just not for this Earth.  You didn’t deserve the pain that you would have suffered as a result of your condition.  You didn’t deserve the heartache that would have come upon learning that your time here was going to be so limited. So your dad and I take on this pain and heartache here on Earth while you watch over us from Heaven.  I guess that’s what all parents want for their children – to take on their burdens.  Though it isn’t easy, we are up for the challenge knowing that your dad and I have each other, our memories with you, the love of our God, the support from our wonderful community, and the promise that we will be reunited with you in a much better place than here. But wow, does this sting.

Thank you, sweet Flicker, for teaching me new ways to love. Now go and be well up there, we’ll hold you again someday.

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